Regular Park
Regular Park is a fanfic crossover between Regular Show and South Park. Plot Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, Kenny McCormick and Butters Stotch get a summer job at the park, where they meet Mordecai, Rigby, Benson and others. Transcript Part One: The Announcement Benson: "Alright, everyone. I have an announcement." Muscle Man: "You know who else has an announcement?" Benson: "If you say your mom, you're fired!" Muscle Man: "MY MOM!!!" Benson: (turns red) "GET OUTTA HERE!!!!" Muscle Man: "It was worth it. Let's go, Five!" (Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost leave. Benson's gumballs turn normal) Benson: "As I was saying, I have an announcement. I've hired five kids for the job. They're from South Park, Colorado, and they come to apply for the job." Rigby: (whispers to Mordecai) "I bet I can get them to work for me." (Unfortunately, Benson heard him) Benson: "I heard that! Now, listen up! I want you to show respect for our new workers because if you don't, YOU'RE FIRED!!!!" Mordecai: "Don't worry, Benson. We got it under control." Benson: "Good." (The sound of a bus is heard) Benson: "They're here. Pops, give them a tour." Pops: "Okay, Benson." (The bus door opens as Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Butters come out) Stan: "Okay, this is the place." Kyle: "Yep! We're at the park." Cartman: "This sucks ass! I still don't get why we have apply for a summer job. I'd rather spend the rest of my summer watching TV instead of wasting my time working." Butters: "Oh, come on Eric. I'm sure working at the park will be fun." Cartman: (sarcastically) "Yeah, right." Stan: "Let's go." (The gang enters the park. They look around and are fascinated by the park) Stan: "Nice park." Butters: "What a lovely park." Kenny: "You said it." Cartman: "Boring." Kyle: "Come on, Cartman. Lighten up. This is our first day, you know." (The boys continue walking around the park. They see Pops driving his cart waving hello. Cartman snickers) Stan: "Wha's so funny, Cartman?" Cartman: "Get a load of that freak! He's got a huge head and a tiny face!" (Cartman laughs) Cartman: "I bet he can't fit through doors!" (He continues laughing) Stan: "Okay cut it out, Cartman!" Butters: "Yeah! Be nice!" Cartman: (continues laughing) "Okay guys. I'll stop laughing." Pops: "Why, hello children. My name is Pops! What are your names?" Kyle: "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Kyle! And these are my friends Stan, Kenny and Butters, and this is the fatass Cartman." Cartman: "Hey, don't call me fat you stupid jew!" Pops: "Now, now you two. No need to be rude. I got lollipops." (Pops hands out lollipops to the boys) Stan: "Thanks, Pops.” Kyle: "Yeah, thanks Pops." Butters: "Thanks." Kenny: "Yeah, thanks." Cartman: "Yeah, yeah, yeah! Thanks, whatever." Pops: "You're welcome. I'm here to give you children tour around the park. Now, let's go." Butters: "What a nice man!" Cartman: "Man, what a weirdo! He gave us lollipops. He is a lollipop. That's fucking cannibalism." Stan: "Don't be rude, Cartman! Let's go!" Kyle: "Yeah, fatass! Let's go!" Cartman: "Stop calling me fat! I'm not fat! I'm just big-boned!" (They all get in the cart and Pops drives off) Part Two: The Tour (Pops drive to the house) Pops: "Okay, here's the house." Butters: "Neat house." Stan: "Yeah, neat house." Pops: "You like the house, huh. Well, let me show you the inside of the house." (The boys follow Pops around the house) Pops: "This is the hallway, and these are the stairs." (Pops shows the boys the stairs, and then they go to the living room where Mordecai and Rigby play video games) Pops: "This is the living room. And that's Mordecai and Rigby. Hey, Mordecai and Rigby!" Mordecai and Rigby: "Yes, Pops?" Pops: "The new workers are here." (Mordecai pauses the game, as he and Rigby meet the gang) Mordecai: "Hey. You must be the new workers." Rigby: "Yeah, who are you?" Cartman: "Glad you say that. I am Cartman! Eric Cartman! And this is Stan, Kenny and Butters. And this is the bane of my fucking existence. This is Kyle." Kyle: "Fat boy's the bane of my existence too." Cartman: "Don't call me fat, jew! Yeah, that's what he is! A jew! He's also a smartass! He's a fucking smarty, know-it-all-jewy pants! Also, he is a baby brother who is a dildo." (Kyle gets angry and makes a fist) Cartman: "And his mom. Man oh man, what can I tell you? His mom is a---" (Right before he finish he sentence, Kyle punches him in the stomach) Kyle: "SHUT UP, CARTMAN!!!!!!" (Cartman falls to the floor) Mordecai: "Nice punching skills, kid." Kyle: "Thanks, dude." Pops: "Okay everyone! Let's continue the tour. Oh Mordecai, Rigby, you two wanna two tag along?" Mordecai: "Sure Pops." Rigby: "Yeah, sure." (Mordecai, Rigby and the South Park gang follow Pops, but Rigby came back to help Cartman up) Rigby: "You okay dude?" Cartman: "Yeah. I think so. Can you help me up?" Rigby: "Sure, dude. Don't worry, I know how you feel. Mordecai punches me all the time." Cartman: (after Rigby helps him up) "Why don't you fight back?" Rigby: "I'm too weak, and Mordecai is too powerful." Cartman: "Oh." Rigby: "Let's catch up with the others." (Rigby and Cartman catch with the others to follow Pops. They're up in the attic) Pops: "Here is the attic." Stan: "Nifty stuff." Butters: "Yeah, very nifty." (They enter Mordecai and Rigby's room) Pops: "I'm glad you like it. This is Mordecai and Rigby's room." Cartman: "Cool room!" Pops: "And here is where you'll be." (Pops open the door to the guest room) Pops: "The guest room." Stan: "I like it." Kyle: "Me too." Kenny: "Me three." Butters: "Yeah, I like it too." Cartman: "I hate it! I hate this room so fucking much! I like Mordecai and Rigby's room better!" Pops: "Now, now there Eric. There's no need to be rude or say innapropriate words. Just give this room a chance." Butters: "Yeah, give it a chance." Cartman: (sighs) "Fine! I will." Pops: "Now, the spirit! Good show, kid! Jolly good show." (Pops' stomach grumbles) Pops: "Ooooh. Pardon me. I have to go. Mordecai, Rigby, do you mind touring these kids while I go to the bathroom?" Mordecai: "Sure Pops." Rigby: "Yeah, no problem." (Pops leave, with Mordecai and Rigby alone with Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Butters) Mordecai: "So, let's continue the tour." Rigby: "We're gonna tour Mordecai and Rigby style!" Part Three: Touring Mordecai and Rigby Style! (Mordecai and Rigby tour the gang to the computer room) Mordecai: "This is the computer room." Rigby: "We go here on the computer to watch funny videos. The most funniest video is the ostrich thing with the balls. Here, let me show." (Rigby plays the video. As the video ends, Mordecai, Rigby, along with the South Park gang except Butters laugh) Butters: "Oh hamburgers! Poor old man." Stan: "Come on, Butters! You don't find it funny?" Butters: "No, not one bit. That's just disrespecting the elderly." Cartman: "How can you not find it funny? That old man got his ass kicked hard!" Mordecai: "Okay, let's continue the tour." (They go to Mr. Mallaerd's office, but he's not there) Mordecai: "This is Mr. Mallaerd's office. At least he's not here." Kenny: "Who's Mr. Mallaerd?" Mordecai: "He's Pops' father. Benson usually gets sent here and Mr. Mallaerd yells at him, which is probably why he yells at us alot." Cartman: "Wow! Those two must be the biggest assholes in the world." Mordecai: "I wouldn't really say that. But let's go." (They open the door to Benson's office, where Benson's working) Rigby: "This is Benson's office. And that's Benson. He's the boss." Benson: "Hey! What are you two doing here? Can't you see I'm working?" Mordecai: "We can see that. We were just touring these kids around and---" Benson: "Shouldn't Pops be the one touring?" Mordecai: "Yeah, he was. But he's using the bathroom right now." Benson: "You must be the kids who applied for a summer job." Stan: "I'm Stan." Kyle: "I'm Kyle." Kenny: "I'm Kenny." Butters: "I'm Butters." Cartman: "I'm Cartman. Eric Cartman that is. And you're that asshole who yells at Mordecai and Rigby!" Benson: (angrily) "What?!" Cartman: "You heard me, you piece of shit. You are a stupid asshole! A bitch! A moron! A fucking palooka! A stupid idiot! A shithead! A---" Mordecai, Stan, Kyle and Kenny: "CARTMAN SHUT UP!!!" Benson: (angered and annoyed) "That's it! Just get outta here and finish your tour!" Mordecai: "Sure. Sorry about that, Benson." Rigby: "Yeah! We'll leave right now." Cartman: "Yeah, we'll leave. But I got one last word to say: Fuck you!" (Mordecai grabs Cartman and leave) Benson: (sighs, annoyed by Cartman) "Kids." Mordecai: "Dude, what is your problem?" Kyle: "Yeah you dick! You cussed out the boss! Why can't you just shut the hell up?" Stan: "You just don't know when to stop, do you?" Kenny: "Yeah! Shut the fuck up!" Mordecai: "Okay everyone. Let's all just stop fighting and finish the tour." (They all go to the kitchen, where Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost munched on pie) Mordecai: "Here's the kitchen." Muscle Man: "What are you losers doing here?" Mordecai: "Oh, hey Muscle Man. We're just giving these kids a tour." Rigby: "Yeah, and why are you here? I thought Benson fired you." Muscle Man: "I did get fired! But we decide to get our jobs back." Mordecai: "Okay. Like we said, we're just giving these kids a tour. The kids' names are Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Butters." Muscle Man: (smiles at Hi-Five Ghost) "Hey! You know who else have to give kids a tour? MY MOM!!!!" (Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost laugh and hi-five each other. Mordecai and Rigby are annoyed by his joke, while Cartman laughs) Stan: "You actually think that's funny?" Cartman: "That was so fucking funny! Wait, wait, wait! I got one!" (Cartman walks up to Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost and snickers) Cartman: "Hey guys! You know who else looks like a stupid bitch?" Stan: "Oh boy." Kyle: (angered) "Don't say it!" Cartman: "KYLE'S MOM!!!!" Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost: "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" (Cartman joins them. The others are annoyed, especially Kyle. Even Rigby joins but Mordecai punches him) Mordecai: "Don't encourage him!" (They laugh, as Kyle walks up to Cartman and punched him in the arm) Cartman: "Ow! What the fuck was that for?" Kyle: "Don't ever call my mom a bitch!" (He goes up to Muscle Man and punches him too) Muscle Man: "Ow! Hey!" Kyle: "That's for encouraging the fatass to say that joke!" Muscle Man: "Don't punch me again, you stupid kid!" Kyle: (annoyed) "Shit, it looks like there's another fatass in town." Mordecai: "Let's just leave." (They all leave the kitchen) Rigby: "Dude, did you see how Kyle punched Muscle Man in the arm?" (He falls to the floor laughing) Mordecai: "Yeah! That fat turd had it coming!" Pops: "Hello children! How did you enjoy the tour?" Stan: "It was okay." Kyle: "It was alright." Kenny: "It was fine." Butters: "I liked the tour." Cartman: "The tour was bullshit a little. Except for that video, it was so hilarious! And that joke I made with Muscle Man about Kyle's mom being a bitch! That was hilarious!" (Cartman laughs) Kyle: "Shut up, fatass!" Cartman: "Don't call me fat, you stupid jew!" Pops: "I'm glad you all liked the tour. I'll be leaving. Ta-ta!" (Pops leaves) Butters: "What a nice man!" Rigby: "Now that we're finished with the tour, why don't we all hang out together." Mordecai: "Yeah! We can all have some fun. What do you say, kids." Cartman: "Sweet! Fucking sweet! I'm in!" Stan: "Me too!" Kyle: "I'm in too!" Kenny: "Me three!" Butters: "I'm in for some fun also!" Rigby: "Aw yeah!" Mordecai: "Let's have some fun!" Part Four: Hanging Out Stan: "What do you guys usually for fun?" Mordecai: "I'm glad you asked. We play video games!" (Rigby puts the game in and sits on the couch with Mordecai. Mordecai turns on the game which is "Dig Champs") Mordecai: "YEEEAAAUUHHHH! Dig Champs!" Rigby: "Dig Champs, man! Dude, remember the first time we played this?" Mordecai: "Yeah, I totally remember. And you wanted to be player one so bad, you wanted to win punchies to be player one. You could've just asked instead of acting like a big baby." Rigby: "STOP TALKING!!!!" Mordecai: "Let's just play." (They turn on the game. Mordecai is player one and Rigby is player two. They begin playing as Mordecai wins and Rigby loses) Mordecai: "OOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!!! In your face!" Rigby: "STOP TALKING!!!!! It's not my fault I lost! I can't dodge that stupid snail!" Mordecai: "Hmm! Hmm! Hmm!" Stan: "That game looks cool. I wanna try." Kyle: "Me too!" (Stan and Kyle play Dig Champs. They win, as they high-five each other) Cartman: "I wanna play! I wanna play! It's just me versus Jewish boy." Kyle: "Just play, fatass." (Kyle and Cartman play Dig Champs. Cartman wins and Kyle loses) Kyle: "Damn it!" Cartman: "OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!! I won! I won! I won! In your face, jew! Jews are no good at games." Kyle: "Ah, shut up fatass. Let's play again." (They play again, but this time, Kyle wins and Cartman loses) Cartman: "Goddamn it!" Kyle: "Kickass!" (A montage plays Kyle and Kenny play, then Butters play with Kenny, then Stan plays with him and so does Cartman. When they win, they all shout "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!" and so does Mordecai and Rigby. Outside, they ride carts and play games at the arcade. Then they go to the Coffee Shop and drink coffee as the montage ends) Part Five: The Night (At home, the boys get ready to sleep in the guest room) Stan: "Today's been fun." Kyle: "Yep! We've had fun. Now we all have to get ready for sleep to get ready for work tomorrow." Cartman: "Work is bullshit. I rather have fun with Mordecai and Rigby instead of working." Butters: "Come on, Eric. I'm sure working won't be bad." Cartman: "It will be, Butters. You have to do nothing but work all fucking day. And then you'll get yelled at by a big asshole who is a walking, talking, shitty gumball machine." Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Butters: "Oh." Cartman: "What?" (Cartman is unaware that Benson is behind him, until Stan points to him. He turns around to see Benson glaring at him) Cartman: "Oh fuck." Benson: (sternly) "Okay, since you're new here, I'm gonna let that comment slide. But if you keep on disrespecting me, there will be consequences." Cartman: "Lighten up, you stupid dickie bitch! I was just joking." Benson: (his gumballs turn red) "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?!?!” Cartman: "Oh nothing. I'm just saying that you're a---" (Right before he finishes his sentence, Kyle clamps his mouth shut) Kyle: "You stupid asshole! Can't you keep your fucking mouth shut for one day or night?" Stan: "Listen, sir. We apologize for Cartman's behavior." Kyle: "Yeah, you see? Cartman's just a big fat annoying living piece of shit you'll ever meet." Cartman: "I don't wanna hear that kind of shit from you, Jew!" Butters: "Yeah, we're really sorry, boss." Benson: (his gumballs turn normal) "Okay, listen up kids. You'll all be in for some work tomorrow. So you all wake up at 6am." Cartman: "6am?! That's too fucking early for me!" Benson: (his gumballs turn red) "GET USED TO IT!!!!" (His gumballs turn normal) "Now, do we all have an understanding here?" Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Butters: "Yes sir." Benson: "Good." (Benson turns off the light and closes the door) Cartman: "This sucks." Stan: "Come on, Cartman. Let's all just go to sleep." (The boys all go to sleep for the night) Part Six: Early in the 6 AM (At home, the alarm clock rings. Stan yawns as he wakes up to turn it off) Stan: "6am? Guys wake up! It's 6am!" (The orhers, except Cartman, wake up) Kyle: "Oh my god! We have to go ready for work!" (They all run out the room but stop to realize Cartman is not up) Stan: "Where's Cartman?" (They turn around to see Cartman laying on the bed) Kyle: "Hey fatso! Wake up! We got work to do!" Cartman: "I don't wanna wake up!" Stan: "What? Why not?" Cartman: "I decided to not work today, so I'm gonna sleep all day. You guys can fill in for me." Stan: "What? That doesn't make sense." Kenny: "Yeah!" Kyle: "Wake up, stupid!" Cartman: "No!" Butters: "Wake up, Eric! The boss is not gonna be happy if he finds out you're sleeping all day." Cartman: (sighs) "Fine! I'll wake up." (Cartman gets up from bed) Stan: "Let's head down to the kitchen to get some breakfast." (The boys go down to the kitchen to get some cereal. Cartman greedily pours too much cereal and milk on his bowl. He poured cereal all over the floor also) Butters: "Geez, Eric must be so hungry." Kyle: "Come on, Cartman! Hand us some cereal!" Cartman: "Okay, Kyle! Let me see. Whoops! Sorry! I don't have any Jewish cereal!" Kyle: "Like you really need all the cereal for yourself, fat boy!" Stan: "Okay! That's it! Give us that!" (Stan snatches the cereal box from Cartman) Cartman: "Hey!" (When the others pour cereal, there's barely any cereal for them) Stan: "Shit, Cartman. You ate up all the cereal." Kenny: "Yeah, just like the time ate all of the KFC chickens!" Kyle: "You're such a fat fuck, Cartman!" (Mordecai and Rigby come in the kitchen) Mordecai: "Morning, guys." (Mordecai and Rigby get bowls then sit down with the boys. Mordecai tries to pour some cereal but nothing came out) Mordecai: "Aw, what? We're out of cereal already?" Kyle: "Yeah! No thanks to fatass here!" Cartman: (with his mouth full) "I'm not fat! I'm big-boned!" Stan: "So much for breakfast." (Benson walks in) Benson: "Hey guys. I want you all outside for---" (Benson looks down to see cereal and milk all over the floor) Benson: "What the?! What did you do?!" Mordecai: "It wasn't us! It was Cartman." Kyle: "Yeah, you know? Cartman, the fattest, fucking, annoying, living piece of shit on this earth?" Cartman: "Shut your God-damned Jew mouth, Kyle! Besides, I didn't do it! It was uh, Kenny! He did it!" (Cartman blames Kenny and points at him) Kenny: "I didn't do that! It was him!" Benson: "Listen, I don't care who did it, but I want you all to clean this up! And when you're finished, I want you all outside." (Benson leaves. After he leaves, everyone glares at Cartman) Rigby: "Great going! You got us all in trouble." Mordecai: "Yeah, dude. Let's just clean this up." (Mordecai, Rigby and the boys cleaned up the mess Cartman made. Wipes from left to right to show everyone's outside with Benson) Benson: "Okay, everyone. I'm sure you all met Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny and Butters. They've applied for a summer job. We're gonna do something special for them." Stan: "Here that, guys? He's gonna do something for us." Benson: "If they get their job done, they get payed with---" (Right before he finishes hs sentence, Cartman interrupts) Cartman: "Ah, yeah! Ham! We're getting payed with ham! I love me some ham!" Kyle: "No, it's not ham you fat moron!" Cartman: "Fuck you!" Benson: (clears throat) "As I was saying, the kids get payed with money." Cartman: "Ah, yeah! Money! That's better than ham!"